What A Relief

So I finally bit the bullet and called my doctor to schedule a test for Celiac disease. The stomach issues are flaring up again (though not nearly as bad as before thank goodness) and we had read in a few different sources that unchecked Celiac disease can lead to difficulty getting pregnant (at this time we're pretty much willing to try anything to finally be with child).

I was waiting to hear back from his office about whether they'd mail me a script or if I needed to go in to see the doctor prior to my May appt with him. Well, the nurse just called back to let me know the good news that he actually checked me for Celiac disease back in November and it was NEGATIVE! Wahoo!

I know I still need to seriously limit my intake of gluten in order to feel my best, but that is much easier to deal with than having to read the labels on everything from toothpaste and lipstick to tortillas and baked beans for the rest of my life.

However, I am supposed to go in this Friday for a breath test which would let him know if it's a lactose issue or anything else like that. I really hope that's a negative because I really can't fathom a life without cow's milk products, especially cheese enchiladas. That may kill me before the lactose does!

“Worst Procedure of the Day” Award

I posted here and here a little bit about how I’ve been having some stomach issues we’re trying to figure out. On the 2nd I had the fun experience of going for a colonoscopy.

When I walked in to the office, I was by far the youngest patient there that day if not ever. Once I changed into my lovely little gown again (maybe I should think about designing some more stylish ones if I’m going to have to be wearing them this frequently) it was on to the oh so comfortable hospital bed to await my turn to be knocked out and examined. As I’m waiting, I notice all the patients two to three times my age being wheeled out from the exam room are awake and conversing with the nurses and enjoying a nice little snack.

Boy a snack sure sounded good. I hadn’t had anything to eat since before midnight on the 31st and it was now 2:30pm on the 2nd. This hypoglycemic girl was starting to get a little “hangry”. Ha! Don’t remember where I heard that word, but it sums up the mad moods that accompany extreme hunger perfectly.

Then it was my turn to get wheeled back in. I remembered them asking me to lie on my left side and I remember thinking how it hurt a little when the doctor placed the anesthesia into my iv, but that’s all I remembered until they were waking me up 40 minutes AFTER they had already wheeled me in to recovery. And, they were only waking me up so they could all go home!

In fact, the doctor actually told me I was their worst procedure of the day because it was the most difficult. Who would have thought the 28 year old would cause more problems than the 80 year old grandpa?

Turns out the reason why I was sleeping so soundly was because they had to give me a double dose of anesthesia to compensate for getting around my newly discovered twisted colon and removing a polyp.

They called me this past Monday to tell me the results of the biopsy (it’s benign) and to tell me that the doctor would like to see me in his office again in 6 months and that I’m supposed to go for another colonoscopy in 3 years. When I asked her what I’m supposed to do about my symptoms in the next six months her response was “oh, if they still bother you, come in sooner.” Well, HELLO! of course they still bother me.

So basically, I’ve gone through countless blood tests, drank tons of barium for x-rays, went for a CT scan and suffered through the “worst procedure of the day” colonoscopy only to be told “come back in six months.” Are you kidding me?! I thought after three doctors I’d finally have some answers, but I guess not.

Man, I really should have gone on to medical school like originally planned so I could at least treat myself.

At least I got a free pair of warm socks out of the deal.

More Tests

This morning on my way to work I received a phone call from my dr’s office. I think he must have received my x-ray results because now he wants me to go for a CT scan prior to my colonoscopy.

Hopefully whatever he saw is nothing serious, but at the same time, hopefully it’s something tangible so we can actually start the work of fixing the problem instead of trying to figure out what the problem is.

On another note, I have a blog post on homemade granola all ready to go except for the actual quantities. Seems the version I have with me is not the same version I used  even though it came from the same person. Who knows. Guess that’s what happens when two different people right down the same recipe given verbally. I’ll try to remember to right down the version I actually used and post it tomorrow.

A Fun Way To Spend A Thursday Morning

We’re still on a quest to find out what has been causing my stomach issues since this past June. After all the tests my internist ran kept coming up normal, I decided to head to a gastroenterologist instead to see if he could figure out anything. I had my first appointment with him a week ago and was given orders to have an x-ray of my upper GI and small bowel as well as a colonoscopy.

Fun stuff I tell ya! Stuff I thought I’d be dealing with when I was in my 50s not when I was 28. But, I guess when you have a family history of colon cancer (my paternal grandma died from it when she was 55), they want you to have these sort of tests sooner if you’re having issues.

Yesterday was my lucky day to go and drink barium milk shakes. They’re so delicious! If you haven’t had one, make sure you schedule your next upper GI and small bowel x-ray stat.

Here’s the lovely little cell room where you too could spend a few hours. It has everything you could ever want – a cold floor, hard seat, florescent lighting, and drafts. It’s absolutely fabulous! Of course you have the option of walking out and sitting in the hallway if you don’t want to stay in here, but there is one problem.

See those blue things sitting in the corner? You know. The ones that open in the back so that you’re whole rear end is visible for the world to see? That’s what you’ll be wearing if you decide to leave your isolation cell cushy room to go and enjoy the slightly warmer and less sterile hallway.

What’s that I hear? You want a photo?

Oops. That won’t work. How about this one?

What? You thought I was going to post my rear end flapping in the breeze? Ha! Not when you have junk in the trunk like me! Oh and see that crazy fake smile on my face? That’s what happens to you when you’re locked in that little room while you wait for them to come and force three cups of barium milkshakes down your throat.

Thankfully my lady was so nice and allowed me to wear a second gown as a jacket to cover up my backside. It made for a stellar fashion statement with my black and grey striped knee socks. Let me tell ya.

Besides the accommodations and beverages, the x-rays really were easy as pie. And, here are a few words for my fellow cellmates patients from yesterday: JUST DRINK THE STUFF ALREADY! Don’t complain about it! Trust me, they know it tastes awful. You complaining about it is not going to make the process any easier on you or them. Sure you have to rock back and forth and from side to side to stir up the barium once you ingest it, but lying still and holding your breath really isn’t that hard people.

I was such a stellar patient the doctor told the x-ray technician to hire me. I  have to admit, her job looks pretty fun. Maybe a career change is somewhere in my future. It would be closer to the pre-med track I was on in college than my current job as an office manager. And, I’ve never been more proud of my small bowel. The fact that it moved the barium through it fast allowed me to get out of there after only two hours instead of four.

Afterwards, I finally chowed down on some breakfast with a chaser of milk of magnesia. Now that stuff is nasty!