“Worst Procedure of the Day” Award

I posted here and here a little bit about how I’ve been having some stomach issues we’re trying to figure out. On the 2nd I had the fun experience of going for a colonoscopy.

When I walked in to the office, I was by far the youngest patient there that day if not ever. Once I changed into my lovely little gown again (maybe I should think about designing some more stylish ones if I’m going to have to be wearing them this frequently) it was on to the oh so comfortable hospital bed to await my turn to be knocked out and examined. As I’m waiting, I notice all the patients two to three times my age being wheeled out from the exam room are awake and conversing with the nurses and enjoying a nice little snack.

Boy a snack sure sounded good. I hadn’t had anything to eat since before midnight on the 31st and it was now 2:30pm on the 2nd. This hypoglycemic girl was starting to get a little “hangry”. Ha! Don’t remember where I heard that word, but it sums up the mad moods that accompany extreme hunger perfectly.

Then it was my turn to get wheeled back in. I remembered them asking me to lie on my left side and I remember thinking how it hurt a little when the doctor placed the anesthesia into my iv, but that’s all I remembered until they were waking me up 40 minutes AFTER they had already wheeled me in to recovery. And, they were only waking me up so they could all go home!

In fact, the doctor actually told me I was their worst procedure of the day because it was the most difficult. Who would have thought the 28 year old would cause more problems than the 80 year old grandpa?

Turns out the reason why I was sleeping so soundly was because they had to give me a double dose of anesthesia to compensate for getting around my newly discovered twisted colon and removing a polyp.

They called me this past Monday to tell me the results of the biopsy (it’s benign) and to tell me that the doctor would like to see me in his office again in 6 months and that I’m supposed to go for another colonoscopy in 3 years. When I asked her what I’m supposed to do about my symptoms in the next six months her response was “oh, if they still bother you, come in sooner.” Well, HELLO! of course they still bother me.

So basically, I’ve gone through countless blood tests, drank tons of barium for x-rays, went for a CT scan and suffered through the “worst procedure of the day” colonoscopy only to be told “come back in six months.” Are you kidding me?! I thought after three doctors I’d finally have some answers, but I guess not.

Man, I really should have gone on to medical school like originally planned so I could at least treat myself.

At least I got a free pair of warm socks out of the deal.